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October 10, 2009

Thoughts ...

Here's an experience... I want to give you an experience!

OK... Lets say you feel low... this is  the accuser, these are not your thoughts... these were suggestions or injections in the battlefield of the mind. These are thoughts designed  to distract you from harmony and destroy your peace.
Thoughts are going to come, you can not stop them, but: Thoughts that do not form words or actions soon die unborn. Thoughts are like birds that fly over your head, you cant stop a bird from flying over you head, but you can stop them from making a nest in your hair! (Kenneth Hagin)    Sela.... (you probably know this means to pause and calmly think about that.)

If your thoughts are not in harmony then you are not thinking right.
If your thoughts are not confidence
If your thoughts are not benefit
If your thoughts are not encouraging
If your thoughts are of doubt and unbelief,  you are not thinking right.
We need to provide a solution with our thoughts and reactions, it doesn't matter what happens to you it matters how you react :(Jeff Lynn)  LIFE = 10% what happens 90% reaction...
This creates freedom and empowers us, when we represent it to ourselves in a way that provides a solution of harmony in our relationships.

If you want to get rich quick... count your blessings or get into comparative mentality:
Compare your challenges to those that REALLY have challenges...There was a man that was held captive in a hole in the ground those that held him had machine guns...this hole was used for their bathroom...this man said to himself if I can make it one more second then I can make it through this...after 2 months he was saved by United States special forces... Our life is what we make it...good or bad we represent our life to our self...we are the master of our life, and our happiness does not come from another...it is our choice.

I would like to be able to to communicate by making sure that we understand each other: 99% of relationship challenges or problems are because of a misunderstanding (Steven Covey) usually a result of  assumptions based upon a lack of information, or having only part of the equation: not having all the numbers.

So then how do we really understand each other ?
By listening to one and giving one the opportunity to be listened to.
YOU CANNOT UNDERSTAND IF YOU DON'T LISTEN.
YOU CANNOT UNDERSTAND IF YOU HANG UP THE PHONE.

So then the current strategy:

1) Hear a piece of information

2) CREATE A CONCLUSION,,, INVENT A CONCLUSION with only a grain of sand on a beach in the WHOLE mathematical equation.

3) Hang up the phone.
Do not allow the other to provide you with rest of information so that you can the see the whole picture, deny yourself the flavors of all the ingredients... since you don't care to make the recipe RIGHT and taste good ...thus allow yourself to hurt yourself with thoughts and ingredients of disharmony, which are not a part of the recipe of harmony, and therefore believing a lie.

4) CREATE a by product of attitude in the other so that they don't even want to give the rest of the ingredients to create harmony.
(HE is thinking disharmony now: A repeat performance: I CANT BELIEVE SHE DOES THIS AGAIN...
She never even gave me a chance to say anything.

5) HE is thinking more disharmony: A pattern exist...more evidence to support the verdict of the way she is and is going to stay,,, he picks up another bead to put on his necklace now there are two beads for this one...he has many necklaces that others have helped him to make...we call these experience creation necklaces they help us make decisions based upon our experiences and influences in the life of the normal human...for the moment the old man he learned to be before he became a citizen of heaven crawls out of his grave...

How could this happen? WE didn't look in the mirror today...

THE MIRROR

YOU are an alien here...
The mirror is crucial to aliens, to you and your life on this planet.. a planet which you are not from, there are very few of you on this planet. 

If you do not look in the mirror you forget what manner of being you are.
You must keep the mirror with you at all times.
The mirror is your agreements (Don Miguel Ruiz)...we need to write new agreements as we learn more about ourselves to create experience necklaces (Don Miguel Ruiz) to replace the old ones.

NEW AGREEMENT:
I will seek FIRST to understand.(Steven Covey)
I will give one the opportunity to communicate as so to understand.
I will listen intently, I will listen with my eyes.(Steven Covey)
I will receive ALL the information first.
I will give feedback.
I will make sure the other knows that I understand by FEEDBACK.

4 rules of communication: 

1) Delivery: In a delivery no one has to be present.
2) Reception: In order for reception to happen, one must be present.
3) Interpretation: Listening intentionally
4) Feedback: Making sure we understand by repeating back to the other what was interpreted:(Steven Covey)

So what you are saying is that you are concerned by this and this, is that what you are saying?


Everyone wants to be understood.
No one wants to misunderstood.
When one is understood they are validated and appreciated and great deposits are made in the emotional bank account (Steven Covey)... it works miracles!


99% of relationship challenges or problems are because of a misunderstanding (Steven Covey)usually a result of  assumptions based upon a lack of information, or having only part of the equation: not having all the numbers.