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    <title>Share The Wisdom</title>
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   <id>tag:youchoosetowin.com,2016:/blog/1</id>
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    <updated>2010-06-21T12:59:44Z</updated>
    <subtitle>General Comments on Communication Break throughs &amp; Break downs.</subtitle>
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<entry>
    <title>Share the Wisdom: Communication</title>
    <link rel="alternate" type="text/html" href="http://youchoosetowin.com/blog/2007/10/share_the_wisdom_communication_1.html" />
    <link rel="service.edit" type="application/atom+xml" href="http://youchoosetowin.com/blog-mt/mt-atom.cgi/weblog/blog_id=1/entry_id=1" title="Share the Wisdom: Communication" />
    <id>tag:youchoosetowin.com,2007:/blog//1.1</id>
    
    <published>2007-10-14T01:47:04Z</published>
    <updated>2011-03-06T05:29:15Z</updated>
    
    <summary>We need help, We are destroyed by lack of knowledge... the Strength in relationships is in valuing our differences and using the differences as complimentary... We are here to provide a solution for one anotherI need your help,I am writing...</summary>
    <author>
        <name>Shannon</name>
        <uri>www.youchoosetowin.com</uri>
    </author>
    
    <content type="html" xml:lang="en" xml:base="http://youchoosetowin.com/blog/">
        <![CDATA[<div><strong>We need help, We are destroyed by lack of knowledge...
the Strength in relationships is in valuing our differences and using the differences as complimentary... 
We are here to provide a solution for one another<img border="0" title="Innocent" alt="Innocent" src="http://youchoosetowin.com/blog-mt/mt-static/plugins/TinyMCE/jscripts/tiny_mce/plugins/emotions/images/smiley-innocent.gif" /></strong></div><div><strong>I need your help,</strong></div><div><strong>I am writing a new book on communication which an area of the site is dedicated to...99% of relationship problems are based upon a misunderstanding or unrealistic expectations, some times we need to evaluate our expectations and change our thinking, Change our Thoughts, Change our World!</strong></div><div><strong>Please post your expierences: break downs &amp; break throughs in communication.</strong></div><div><strong>Thank You!</strong></div><div><strong>Shannon</strong></div>]]>
        
    </content>
</entry>
<entry>
    <title>Thoughts ...</title>
    <link rel="alternate" type="text/html" href="http://youchoosetowin.com/blog/2009/10/thoughts_1.html" />
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    <id>tag:youchoosetowin.com,2009:/blog//1.3</id>
    
    <published>2009-10-11T01:05:15Z</published>
    <updated>2010-06-21T12:59:44Z</updated>
    
    <summary><![CDATA[Here's an experience... I want to give you an experience!OK... Lets say you feel low... this is &nbsp;the accuser, these are not your thoughts... these were suggestions or injections in the battlefield of the mind. These are thoughts designed &nbsp;to...]]></summary>
    <author>
        <name>Shannon</name>
        <uri>www.youchoosetowin.com</uri>
    </author>
    
    <content type="html" xml:lang="en" xml:base="http://youchoosetowin.com/blog/">
        <![CDATA[<div style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; line-height: 1.2em; outline-style: none">Here's an experience... I want to give you an experience!</div><div style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; line-height: 1.2em; outline-style: none"><br /></div><div style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; line-height: 1.2em; outline-style: none">OK... Lets say you feel low... this is &nbsp;the accuser, these are not your thoughts... these were suggestions or injections in the battlefield of the mind. These are thoughts designed &nbsp;to distract you from harmony and destroy your peace.</div><div style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; line-height: 1.2em; outline-style: none">Thoughts are going to come, you can not stop them, but:<strong style="line-height: 1.2em; outline-style: none">&nbsp;Thoughts that do not form words or actions soon die unborn. Thoughts are like birds that fly over your head, you cant stop a bird from flying over you head, but you can stop them from making a nest in your hair! (Kenneth Hagin)  &nbsp;<span style="line-height: 15px; outline-style: none; font-weight: normal" class="Apple-style-span"><img border="0" />&nbsp;&nbsp;Sela.... (you probably know this means to pause and calmly think about that.)</span></strong></div><div style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; line-height: 1.2em; outline-style: none"><br /></div><div style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; line-height: 1.2em; outline-style: none">If your thoughts are not in harmony then you are not thinking right.</div><div style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; line-height: 1.2em; outline-style: none">If your thoughts are not confidence</div><div style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; line-height: 1.2em; outline-style: none">If your thoughts are not benefit</div><div style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; line-height: 1.2em; outline-style: none">If your thoughts are not encouraging</div><div style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; line-height: 1.2em; outline-style: none">If your thoughts are of doubt and unbelief, &nbsp;you are not thinking right.</div><div style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; line-height: 1.2em; outline-style: none">We  need to provide a solution with our thoughts and reactions, it doesn't matter what happens to you it matters how you react :(Jeff Lynn) &nbsp;<strong style="line-height: 1.2em; outline-style: none">LIFE = 10% what happens 90% reaction...</strong></div><div style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; line-height: 1.2em; outline-style: none">This creates freedom and empowers us, when we represent it to ourselves in a way that provides a solution of harmony in our relationships.</div><div style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; line-height: 1.2em; outline-style: none"><br /></div><div style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; line-height: 1.2em; outline-style: none">If you want to get rich quick... count your blessings or get into comparative mentality:</div><div style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; line-height: 1.2em; outline-style: none">Compare your challenges to those that REALLY have challenges...There was a man that was held captive in a hole in the ground those that held him had machine guns...this hole was used for their bathroom...this man said to himself if I can make it one more second then I can make it through this...after 2 months he was saved by United States special forces... Our life is what we make it...good or bad we represent our life to our self...we are the master of our life, and our happiness does not come from another...it is our choice.</div><div style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; line-height: 1.2em; outline-style: none"><br /></div><div style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; line-height: 1.2em; outline-style: none">I<strong style="line-height: 1.2em; outline-style: none">&nbsp;</strong>would like to be able to to communicate by making sure that we understand each  other:&nbsp;<strong style="line-height: 1.2em; outline-style: none">99% of relationship challenges or problems are because of a misunderstanding (Steven Covey) usually a result of&nbsp; assumptions based upon a lack of information, or having only part of the equation: not having all the numbers.</strong></div><div style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; line-height: 1.2em; outline-style: none"><strong style="line-height: 1.2em; outline-style: none"><br /></strong></div><div style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; line-height: 1.2em; outline-style: none"><strong style="line-height: 1.2em; outline-style: none">So then how do we really understand each other ?</strong></div><div style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; line-height: 1.2em; outline-style: none"><strong style="line-height: 1.2em; outline-style: none">By listening to one and giving one the opportunity to be listened to.</strong></div><div style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; line-height: 1.2em; outline-style: none"><strong style="line-height: 1.2em; outline-style: none">YOU CANNOT UNDERSTAND IF YOU DON'T LISTEN.</strong></div><div style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; line-height: 1.2em; outline-style: none"><strong style="line-height: 1.2em; outline-style: none">YOU CANNOT UNDERSTAND IF YOU HANG UP THE PHONE.</strong></div><div style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; line-height: 1.2em; outline-style: none"><strong style="line-height: 1.2em; outline-style: none"><br /></strong></div><div style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; line-height: 1.2em; outline-style: none"><strong style="line-height: 1.2em; outline-style: none">So then the current strategy:</strong></div><div style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; line-height: 1.2em; outline-style: none"><strong style="line-height: 1.2em; outline-style: none"><br /></strong></div><div style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; line-height: 1.2em; outline-style: none"><strong style="line-height: 1.2em; outline-style: none">1) Hear a piece of information <br /></strong></div><div style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; line-height: 1.2em; outline-style: none"><strong style="line-height: 1.2em; outline-style: none"><br /></strong></div><div style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; line-height: 1.2em; outline-style: none"><strong style="line-height: 1.2em; outline-style: none">2) CREATE A CONCLUSION,,, INVENT A CONCLUSION with only a grain of sand on a beach in the WHOLE mathematical equation.</strong></div><div style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; line-height: 1.2em; outline-style: none"><strong style="line-height: 1.2em; outline-style: none"><br /></strong></div><div style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; line-height: 1.2em; outline-style: none"><strong style="line-height: 1.2em; outline-style: none">3) Hang up the phone.</strong></div><div style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; line-height: 1.2em; outline-style: none"><strong style="line-height: 1.2em; outline-style: none">Do not allow the other to provide you with rest of information so that you can the see the whole picture, deny yourself the flavors of all the ingredients... since you don't care to make the recipe RIGHT and taste good ...thus allow yourself to hurt yourself with thoughts and ingredients of disharmony, which are not a part of the recipe of harmony, and therefore believing a lie.</strong></div><div style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; line-height: 1.2em; outline-style: none"><br /></div><div style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; line-height: 1.2em; outline-style: none"><strong style="line-height: 1.2em; outline-style: none">4) CREATE a by product of attitude in the other so that they don't even want to give the rest of the ingredients to create harmony.</strong></div><div style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; line-height: 1.2em; outline-style: none"><strong style="line-height: 1.2em; outline-style: none">(HE is thinking disharmony now: A repeat performance: I CANT BELIEVE SHE DOES THIS AGAIN...</strong></div><div style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; line-height: 1.2em; outline-style: none"><strong style="line-height: 1.2em; outline-style: none">She never even gave me a chance to say anything.</strong></div><div style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; line-height: 1.2em; outline-style: none"><strong style="line-height: 1.2em; outline-style: none"><br /></strong></div><div style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; line-height: 1.2em; outline-style: none"><strong style="line-height: 1.2em; outline-style: none">5)&nbsp;HE is thinking more disharmony:&nbsp;A pattern exist...more evidence to support the verdict of the way she is and is going to stay,,, he picks up another bead to put on his necklace now there are two beads for this one...he has many necklaces that others have helped him to make...we call these experience creation necklaces they help us make decisions based upon our experiences and influences in the life of the normal human...for the moment the old man he learned to be before he became a citizen of heaven crawls out of his grave...</strong></div><div style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; line-height: 1.2em; outline-style: none"><strong style="line-height: 1.2em; outline-style: none"><span style="line-height: 1.2em; outline-style: none; font-size: xx-large" class="Apple-style-span"><br /></span></strong></div><div style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; line-height: 1.2em; outline-style: none"><span style="line-height: 1.2em; outline-style: none; font-size: 32px" class="Apple-style-span"><strong style="line-height: 1.2em; outline-style: none"><span style="line-height: 1.2em; outline-style: none; font-size: 13px" class="Apple-style-span">How could this happen? WE didn't look in the mirror today...</span></strong></span></div><div style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; line-height: 1.2em; outline-style: none"><span style="line-height: 1.2em; outline-style: none; font-size: 32px" class="Apple-style-span"><strong style="line-height: 1.2em; outline-style: none"><br /></strong></span></div><div style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; line-height: 1.2em; outline-style: none"><strong style="line-height: 1.2em; outline-style: none"><span style="line-height: 1.2em; outline-style: none; font-size: xx-large" class="Apple-style-span">THE MIRROR</span></strong></div><div style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; line-height: 1.2em; outline-style: none"><strong style="line-height: 1.2em; outline-style: none"><span style="line-height: 15px; outline-style: none; font-weight: normal" class="Apple-style-span"><div style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; line-height: 1.2em; outline-style: none"><strong style="line-height: 1.2em; outline-style: none"><br /></strong></div><div style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; line-height: 1.2em; outline-style: none"><strong style="line-height: 1.2em; outline-style: none">YOU are an alien here...</strong></div><div style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; line-height: 1.2em; outline-style: none"><strong style="line-height: 1.2em; outline-style: none">The mirror is crucial to  aliens, to you and your life on this planet.. a planet which you are not from, there are very few of you on this planet.&nbsp;</strong></div><div style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; line-height: 1.2em; outline-style: none"><span style="line-height: 16px; outline-style: none" class="Apple-style-span"><strong style="line-height: 1.2em; outline-style: none"><br /></strong></span></div></span></strong></div><div style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; line-height: 1.2em; outline-style: none"><strong style="line-height: 1.2em; outline-style: none">If you do not look in the mirror you forget what manner of being you are.</strong></div><div style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; line-height: 1.2em; outline-style: none"><strong style="line-height: 1.2em; outline-style: none">You must keep the mirror with you at all times.</strong></div><div style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; line-height: 1.2em; outline-style: none"><strong style="line-height: 1.2em; outline-style: none">The mirror is your agreements (Don Miguel Ruiz)...we need to write new agreements as we learn more about ourselves to create experience necklaces (Don Miguel Ruiz) to replace the old ones.</strong></div><div style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; line-height: 1.2em; outline-style: none"><strong style="line-height: 1.2em; outline-style: none"><br /></strong></div><div style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; line-height: 1.2em; outline-style: none"><strong style="line-height: 1.2em; outline-style: none">NEW AGREEMENT:</strong></div><div style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; line-height: 1.2em; outline-style: none"><strong style="line-height: 1.2em; outline-style: none">I will seek FIRST to understand.(Steven Covey)</strong></div><div style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; line-height: 1.2em; outline-style: none"><strong style="line-height: 1.2em; outline-style: none">I will give one the opportunity to communicate as so to understand.</strong></div><div style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; line-height: 1.2em; outline-style: none"><strong style="line-height: 1.2em; outline-style: none">I will listen intently, I will listen with my eyes.(Steven Covey)</strong></div><div style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; line-height: 1.2em; outline-style: none"><strong style="line-height: 1.2em; outline-style: none">I will receive ALL the information first.</strong></div><div style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; line-height: 1.2em; outline-style: none"><strong style="line-height: 1.2em; outline-style: none">I will give feedback.</strong></div><div style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; line-height: 1.2em; outline-style: none"><strong style="line-height: 1.2em; outline-style: none">I will make sure the other knows that I understand by FEEDBACK.</strong></div><div style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; line-height: 1.2em; outline-style: none"><strong style="line-height: 1.2em; outline-style: none"><br /></strong></div><div style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; line-height: 1.2em; outline-style: none"><strong style="line-height: 1.2em; outline-style: none">4 rules of communication:&nbsp;</strong></div><div style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; line-height: 1.2em; outline-style: none"><strong style="line-height: 1.2em; outline-style: none"><br /></strong></div><div style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; line-height: 1.2em; outline-style: none"><strong style="line-height: 1.2em; outline-style: none">1) Delivery: In a delivery no one has to be present.</strong></div><div style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; line-height: 1.2em; outline-style: none"><strong style="line-height: 1.2em; outline-style: none">2) Reception: In order for reception to happen, one must be present.</strong></div><div style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; line-height: 1.2em; outline-style: none"><strong style="line-height: 1.2em; outline-style: none">3) Interpretation: Listening intentionally</strong></div><div style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; line-height: 1.2em; outline-style: none"><strong style="line-height: 1.2em; outline-style: none">4) Feedback: Making sure we understand by repeating back to the other what was interpreted:(Steven Covey)</strong></div><div style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; line-height: 1.2em; outline-style: none"><strong style="line-height: 1.2em; outline-style: none"><br /></strong></div><div style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; line-height: 1.2em; outline-style: none"><strong style="line-height: 1.2em; outline-style: none">So what you are saying is that you are concerned by this and this, is that what you are saying?</strong></div><div style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; line-height: 1.2em; outline-style: none"><strong style="line-height: 1.2em; outline-style: none"><br /></strong></div><div style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; line-height: 1.2em; outline-style: none"><strong style="line-height: 1.2em; outline-style: none"><br /></strong></div><div style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; line-height: 1.2em; outline-style: none"><strong style="line-height: 1.2em; outline-style: none">Everyone wants to be understood.</strong></div><div style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; line-height: 1.2em; outline-style: none"><strong style="line-height: 1.2em; outline-style: none">No one wants to misunderstood.</strong></div><div style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; line-height: 1.2em; outline-style: none"><strong style="line-height: 1.2em; outline-style: none">When one is understood they are validated and appreciated and great deposits are made in the emotional bank account (Steven Covey)... it works miracles!</strong></div><div style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; line-height: 1.2em; outline-style: none"><strong style="line-height: 1.2em; outline-style: none"><br /></strong></div><div style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; line-height: 1.2em; outline-style: none"><strong style="line-height: 1.2em; outline-style: none"><br /></strong></div><div style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; line-height: 1.2em; outline-style: none"><strong style="line-height: 1.2em; outline-style: none">99% of relationship challenges or problems are because of a misunderstanding (Steven Covey)usually a result of&nbsp; assumptions based upon a lack of information, or having only part of the equation: not having all the numbers.</strong></div><div style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; line-height: 1.2em; outline-style: none"><strong style="line-height: 1.2em; outline-style: none"><br /></strong></div>]]>
        
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